After 2 and a half weeks of vacation something happens. Your perspective changes, certain things just aren’t that important anymore. I talked about this in my last post, but it’s running deeper and it’s been difficult to find ‘me’ again. I’m taking it very slow and one step at a time.
Lindsay talked about ’going with the flow’ today in this post. It got me thinking about how I am handling (or not handling) what’s going on in my life right now. Between working full time, taking the first module of CSNN’s Natural Nutrition Program through distance learning, continuing to work with my naturopath on the path of getting my body back on track, and taking on an online group coaching program with Melanie St. Ours at Psyche & Soma called Women’s Health Intensive to increase my knowledge in how I can take control of my own health; I’m not sure I am ‘going with the flow’ these days.
Oh yeah, plus that thing called a life!
It’s catching up to me. In fact, it’s been ‘catching up to me’ for a while now as you may have guessed. Seems like a lifetime ago that Marc and I were sitting on a beach reading, listening to the sound of the waves crashing. I am slowly forgetting how much I loved living in the moment and taking in all my surroundings… truly enjoying the quiet and the time spent with the love of my life.
What’s happened to that? I know, I know, vacation isn’t reality, but why come back to how things were? How can I mix the two worlds a little bit and not become so busy that I’m floating aimlessly not knowing what’s going on around me?
I’ve decided to take things as they come. I tend to look ahead and figure out all the different ways things could possibly end up and I get completely stressed out about it. Case in point, the CSNN course. When I look ahead to tests and exams coming up and when I have to start case studies, I freak out! I’m not up to this challenge; I don’t have the confidence to do this. When I’m reading the that big, fat textbook I think there is NO way I can remember any of it, or really fully comprehend everything. But when I sit down and concentrate on what is directly in front of me, I feel I have a bit more control. If I can focus on one thing and not the millions of outcomes down the road, I can handle it.
I also think of my workouts. I get up at 5 in the morning every single day to get in at least 30 minutes before work. I do love it; I love the energy and the clarity it gives me for the rest of my day. The feeling of accomplishment that early in the morning is addictive! But this past week I have been completely exhausted and have not wanted to get up. Almost every day this week I had to give myself permission to get on that treadmill or elliptical and if after 10 minutes I am still not in the mindset to continue, or if I’m too exhausted, I can stop. I haven’t stopped once!
I need to give myself the freedom to cut myself some slack. Easier said than done at the best of times.
Regardless of the struggles I have been facing, I am doing well in terms of my health. The last few weeks my skin has cleared up and think I have found a good balance in my diet to keep me feeling even better and looking better. It’s a work in progress, it always will be.
Sleep has been a HUGE reason for that. I have not paid attention to sleep in all the time I have been struggling with my hormones and health. I had the best sleep of my life on vacation, and it didn’t just have to do with being so relaxed. Marc and I decided to get a mattress topper from Costco that the condo had in Maui. Best decision ever! I have also made it a priority to allot enough time to get a good night’s rest, unplugging at least a half an hour before we go to bed. I had no idea how much the lack of sleep was hurting me. I finally feel rejuvenated when I wake up, instead of sore, grumpy and tired. Apart from this past week of being run down, sleep has been my best friend
As much as it all seems a bit crazy right now, there is some sort of balance happening, I am encouraged. As I’ve said before, the road is long, but I am still grateful for what I have learned in the process.
Question of the day: How are you taking it ‘one step at a time’?
If only I could go back to Maui and drown myself in Coconut Glen’s chili chocolate, and pineapple panang curry coconut ice cream… all would be right with the world